The Butterfly

Ten years ago today I was on a cross country flight from Monterey, California to Laguardia. After an 11 day vigil, my 14 year old cousin Emily, earned her butterfly wings. If you are one of my dedicated readers you know how special Fishers Island is to me. We had just been there for our eldest cousin's wedding and for our month long July stay. Shark was pitching in Knoxville, I was working at Sotheby's in Manhattan, life was easy! Emily's horseback riding accident changed my life FOREVER. In ways that are so obvious and in deep dark ways that are unforgettable.
The days we spent together that August seem like just yesterday and then seem so long ago at the same time...eerie. There is strength in numbers though and the Grey Gulls girls bonded together and paid tribute. You have to remember that ten years ago the internet was boosting web-rings as a major form of communication. Kate the Great got online and emailed a woman about getting some butterflies to release at the cemetary. While we were out running errands the woman called Kate's cell to confirm. For some unknown reason Kate asked this kind soul where she was calling from. The woman promptly answered, "Springfield, Mass." Emily died at a hospital in Springfield, Mass, she was taken there by helicopter. We didn't know ANYONE there. This was the first of many amazing signs that Emily was still with us. And I know today she still is.
My heart breaks when I think of all the things we havent shared. I always planned on Emily being a bridesmaid at our wedding, a godmother to our sons, a constant in my life. And I will tell you that she is a constant in my life. The memories, the hopes, and the dreams are all still here. She is just there. In every butterfly that passes she is there.
I missed you extra today. I ran through all the movies of you in my mind today. I wept as I looked at my boys today, imaging your parents agony, and I called my sisters today, wishing your brothers had you to call. Mom texted me a photo of a butterfly at Fishers this morning, I know it was you. And Dad sent me a text and mistyped using WTF instead of ETD, and I know that was you too. Have fun tonight with Gram, we miss you both too much. See you in my dreams.
With love, The Zookeeper

New Hours at the Zoo

I have said more then once over the past few days that I think all (ok maybe most) parenting cliches are true. Mostly "They grow up so fast". Bear going to a new school has just about done me in-lotsa cahnge. However, it is all for the good of the group! Bear absolutely LOVES it! He heads off with his backpack and his carpool buddies and never looks back. Gulp-enter the zookeeper crying-AGAIN!
In the meantime Monkey has been up to his usual tricks. He is talking so much more and has a lot to say about his big brother not being home "Where T.D. go? Where T.D. go?" And next week he will be back at schools as well.
So we are up early to get to school and time, and going to bed earlier...this grown up stuff is exhahusting!
kisses from the zoo

Back to School Zoo

Shark and I headed back to my alma mater tonight in a new role, new parents! Say it isn't so, but it so is....Bear is headed to Pre-K! So surreal to be calling my old teachers by their first names...and trying to prepare them for the arrival of our somewhat sensitive, very imaginative and eager to please...Teddy. I started at the same school when I was only a year older. Now for the most part our creatures tend to look like Shark, but Bear's behavior will put the faculty back 30 years. Mini-me offically goes to Pre-K in a week, I am not sure who is more excited!
Catch you up on the road trip details tomorrow!
Sweet dreams from the Zookeeper

score: love, love

Love tennis. Yup, I do. I have achieved nearly every thirtysomething mom stereotype... Shortish hair, not so great jeans, and I seriously listen to Kidz Bop when the creatures aren't even in the car, and Bear officially signs up for soccer next week, so there you have it!
As for my Summer Tennis Career...The Big Club Zoo pros are of the charming and talented variety. Hailing from their native countries of Sweden,Scotland, and Vermont (yup almost a country of its own). AND they come equipped with their own beautiful zookeeper/organizer/wardrobe consultant who makes it all happen!
These guys challenged the ladies clinic and we challenged them back. (Ladies being a loose term in some scenarios, but not to worry, the zookeeper is first and foremost a lady!) We made it through a "summer season" relatively unscathed and we all learned a lot. Us about tennis, and them about family trees, island history, English slang, and getting the most out of the all white dress code. Their words will be with me as I consider the next move in my tennis career (you are supposed to be laughing) " In this scenario when the players come to the net (Swedish for in case you make it to Wimbledon with out me remember this explanation)...ok.ok.ok. (Vermontian for Please try to stop gossiping and finish this drill) and Nice Try (Scottish for that was the best shot all summer!)
In all seriousness many old friendships were rekindled, many new ones were made and lots of people now know the true defintion of cousins....
We will miss you all til next year!
I'll be practicing!
The zookeeper
Disclaimer: The Grammar in this is so bad...sorry, must go get a diet coke and wake up!

Piping Plovers

I vaguely remember these little birds from my college summers on Nantucket,
but what I do remember is many days and nights partying, shopping, swimming, dancing, etc. With my friend "mama plover". We have been the best of friends ever since! Mama Plover has the dearest mate, and three amazing hatchlings. And Mama Plover has breast cancer. So please join my zoo in supporting her flock! Just positive thoughts towards New Hampshire! And stay posted for good news!
Silver lining...if there is such a thing in this situation... Zookeeper and Mama Plover are closer then ever to actually getting matching tattoos!
With love and hope,
the zookeeperP